My blogging has generally been dedicated to things I love about Israel and aimed at trying to help others see Israel through my eyes. This is not that blog. This is a blog about all the little, illogical things that have given me the life motto of "just stop trying to make sense of it all."
1) Dear bikers, when you are approaching me from behind, ringing your little bell does nothing to help the flow of transportation other than making me tense up and not stray from the path I am currently on. In America, we have this whole "on your left" process where an approaching biker informs the person they are trying to go around of their intended route. By you telling me you're passing me on my left, I can move further to my right and you can go around me without even having to slow down. Ringing your bell does nothing but tell me you might still hit me if I move an inch.
Side note: Bikers it is also your job to go around a pedestrian if you're on a route that's going to bring a collision between the two of you. Really, I thought this was common knowledge.
2) Taxi drivers you are not exempt here either. If I am walking, whether alone or with friends, at night or during the day, you do not need to honk at me to alert me of your presence. If I wanted a cab, I know how to call for one and I also am capable of flagging you down. Your erratic driving and tell-tale yellow sign on top of your car make it pretty easy to find you if I need you. Honking at me does not increase the chances of me all of a sudden deciding I need your services. In fact, it usually makes me jump and all you have gained is the dirtiest look in my arsenal.
3) Banks, doctors offices, government offices, etc. - closing your doors for lunch for three hours is absolutely unnecessary. Obviously your employees need to eat lunch but it's definitely do-able to stagger schedules in a way so that people can take their lunches while your business still functions. If you can't figure out how to make that work, three hours is SO LONG for a lunch break. Does this mean your full time employees really only work 25 hours a week? Are they getting paid to take that break? If yes, BULL SHIT-no one should get paid for 3 hours of no work. If no, maybe that's another aspect of why people struggle to make a decent income here if they're only getting paid for 5 hours out of an 8 hour work day....?
Side note: Stop charging me an ATM fee at my own bank and stop taking "commission" off of checks I deposit. You did nothing to make that money nor did you do anything to get me to put it in your bank, thus you did nothing to earn a commission. At least call it what it is and tell me you're stealing my money.
4) Call centers, you are probably the most ridiculous. If I need to call and make a doctor's appointment, ask an easy question at the bank, change something for my phone service, etc. I am always told just to call. Their initial prompts usually have an option to hear the prompts in English as well as other languages. However, once you've followed the prompt through you'll likely be switched to another prompt in Hebrew that has no English option or once you've made it through the prompt it is 99% likely that the person you get through to will have the worst English in the office and all of the English speakers will be busy. They'll promise to have the English speaker call you back...but they won't. And next thing you know you've had to hear the same prompts 10 times because you just call and press random numbers until you finally, a week later, get ahold of an English speaker.
5) Why do you have things in this country that frequently include .99 in their price when you don't have currency for that extra .01? Call me stingy but it's pretty annoying when I go to pay for something that's 9.99 shekels, I give them 10 and then get nothing back. Everyone hates pennies in America and we usually just leave them places but anyone who keeps a change jar at home knows those babies add up.
6) WHY IS EVERYTHING IN MY APARTMENT ALWAYS SO DUSTY?!
7) Warning: I'm gonna get catty for this one. Girls and blatant underwear in this country are out of control. Girls, when you're wearing leggings, DO NOT wear regular underwear. Not only are the lines all over the place but they will also likely bunch up and it's really just not a good look for anyone. Nor is underwear that can be seen through your too-tight or too-shear dresses. I'd say less is more here but I honestly think it's because no one bothers to check a mirror. You all have them, do yourselves a favor and use them.
8) We all hate small talk, it's awkward and annoying and I frequently rally against it but it really is needed sometimes. Lady in the library who told my friend her whole life story about her mother dying on the day of her daughter's wedding when she asked you where to find a book, you need to work on your small talk. To the boy who works at the store across the street from me who always only asks me if I have a boyfriend, you need to work on your small talk. Any boys talking to me and my friends and assuming after 20 minutes of screaming over bar music and drinking that you can come home with us, you really need to work on your small talk.
9) All those streets where the light to cross will be green...until you get to the middle of the road and have to pile onto a median to wait for the other side to turn green...yeah you all just need to go.
10) Middle-aged to old men dropping trou at the beach to change into your bathing suit, you are the most unnecessary on this list. Really, NO ONE wants to see that.
11) Any office that tells me I have an appointment at three and then I show up just to find out that the office re-opened from a 3 hour lunch break at 3 and I actually just need to stand in line with 5 other people who had "appointments at 3" your system needs to be changed. Immediately.
12) The post office. I wish you could all hear the tone of doom in my head when I write those words. My mom sent me three packages a few weeks ago. One I picked up from one post office, the second I got a week later from another post office. The third one is still MIA. Really? THIS is your system?! That's not even factoring in the fact that your hours are different every single day and almost always at inconvenient times and then it will take someone 15+ minutes to locate the box. It's actually infuriating. It blows my mind how a country that has done so much and made such strides hasn't yet figured out how to properly handle mail. Also, I'm American so please just drop my packages off at my doorstep.
13) The next person who stops right in the middle of the sidewalk or just before getting on an escalator to look at their phone or look around the mall to make sure they really want to go up a floor, you are going to get yelled at. There are too many of you and I have taken it too calmly thus far. Maybe someone yelling at you about how annoying and inconsiderate you are will make you aware of your surroundings again. And if another one of you does it while I'm grumpily attempting to find my way through the central bus station, I will literally walk right through you. I don't care if that means you end up face first on the escalator, you brought this on yourself.
14) My roommate would also really like me to add in the question of why only a few grocery stores have proper (orange) cheddar cheese. It's a great question that baffles us regularly.
There you have it, 14 things that drive me absolutely insane in this country and make no sense to me. All of which you can see are pretty minor in the grand scheme of things or at least are part of the raging bureaucracy I was warned of.
Beyond the random moments of fury when I encounter these situations, overall I'm insanely happy to be here and enjoying myself and my new life thoroughly. My life in Israel was summed up nicely in Ulpan today when someone complained about something not making sense logically. The responses she got were "that would make it too easy" followed by "welcome to Israel."
Monday, October 14, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Making Peace With Aliyah
I've been meaning to write this blog post for easily over a month now. Every time I sit down to write it, my brain goes in so many directions. I have scattered notes all over my room and multiple electronic devices and I'll likely re-write this ten times before I actually post it.
I guess a good place to start is the crazy looks I get from Americans and Israelis alike when informing them of the decision I've made. Americans respond with "you're moving to Israel?! But it's so dangerous there right now." I can't help but laugh that they think 1) what's going on in Syria is a recent development 2) that Syria is the only problem Israel has right now 3) that this region is usually more peaceful than it is right now and 4) the lack of understanding that Israel overall is much safer than the U.S.
Israel has some of the, if not the best intelligence in the world, a missile defense system that has proven very efficient and is soon to be further upgraded, a well-trained populace that handles itself well in times of emergency, and safe rooms/re-enforced structures in every building, among many other features that make me feel confident Israel can withstand any threat that comes her way.
I was home for three months this summer and actually felt anxious being away from Israel. Partially because my heart and soul genuinely feel at rest and at home here but also because when you're away from Israel, the only news you get about it feels like doomsday. You don't get the feeling that exists on the streets; streets I feel completely safe walking alone at all hours of the night-a feeling that has been confirmed as valid by my Israeli friends. Streets that are constantly full of people at cafes, walking with friends, pushing their kids in strollers, or taking their pets for a walk. There's just an unexplainable vibe you get when you are actually here.
People will push past you in those streets or accidentally bump into you without even considering an apology but if you need help or hit a language barrier, there is always someone within arms reach who will stop and help you without you even asking for it. Can you say any of the above things about America?
The truth is, I believe in Israel and what it stands for. I believe in the forward (or as some people call it: rude) nature of it's people because political correctness gets in the way of living our lives genuinely. I don't think Israelis are rude, I think they'd rather get to the point than play games to prevent someone's feelings from being hurt over minor things.
I think it's funny the way lines don't exist because honestly, if we all have a limited amount of time on this earth and only a small portion of that is free time we have to do what we enjoy, I don't want to waste any of that time standing in line. An Israeli may cut me in the line my American side still automatically makes from time-to-time, but that same Israeli would likely be late to wherever they're going to stop and help me if I need it. They won't even seem annoyed or come off as doing it because they're obligated, they do it because Israel is like a giant family that only functions if we all take care of each other.
I also love having my Jewishness built in to where I live rather than having to pick and choose like I always did in America. I grew up feeling not Jewish enough in the Jewish community but 'too Jewish' in the secular community and that is not an experience I feel comfortable forcing my future children to go through.
I believe in the safe haven Israel provides for Jews-a fact the rest of the world seems to think isn't necessary anymore which is insane since Antisemitism is up 40% worldwide. Do I feel unsafe as a Jew in America? Not at all. But anyone who knows me knows how PR minded I am and the best thing I can do for Israel's image and to bring people here who would never consider it otherwise, is to move here myself and demonstrate in the strongest way possible my faith in this country and it's importance.
I'm not blind to the issues that are ahead of me. Adjusting to the lower wages and the general expensiveness of living here, the seemingly illogical things that happen constantly here, the infuriating bureaucracy, coping with my future children one day serving in the army. I'm aware of all of it and I'm sure I'll become aware of even more obstacles in the future.
The crazy looks I get from Israelis is because they wonder how on earth I can sacrifice so much to be here. But other than the distance I've now put between my family and myself, what exactly am I sacrificing? Will my house be significantly smaller here than my house in America? Yes. Will I have a shittier car here one day than I would in America? Yes. Will I make less money here than I would in America? Yes. But Israel is not about any of those things. Israel is about overcoming all of those things. Those things aren't important to me. What's important to me is to have close-knit family values and happiness, that of my own and my future family.
And you know what? Israelis are happier than Americans. Despite everything it deals with, Israel was just ranked 11th in happiness while America is 17th. Look at the list (Here: http://www.businessinsider.com/new-world-happiness-report-2013-2013-9) and consider what Israel deals with and goes through compared to the countries that surround her on that list. That for me is the obvious sign that people are doing something right here.
And that is how I have made peace with making aliyah.
I guess a good place to start is the crazy looks I get from Americans and Israelis alike when informing them of the decision I've made. Americans respond with "you're moving to Israel?! But it's so dangerous there right now." I can't help but laugh that they think 1) what's going on in Syria is a recent development 2) that Syria is the only problem Israel has right now 3) that this region is usually more peaceful than it is right now and 4) the lack of understanding that Israel overall is much safer than the U.S.
Israel has some of the, if not the best intelligence in the world, a missile defense system that has proven very efficient and is soon to be further upgraded, a well-trained populace that handles itself well in times of emergency, and safe rooms/re-enforced structures in every building, among many other features that make me feel confident Israel can withstand any threat that comes her way.
I was home for three months this summer and actually felt anxious being away from Israel. Partially because my heart and soul genuinely feel at rest and at home here but also because when you're away from Israel, the only news you get about it feels like doomsday. You don't get the feeling that exists on the streets; streets I feel completely safe walking alone at all hours of the night-a feeling that has been confirmed as valid by my Israeli friends. Streets that are constantly full of people at cafes, walking with friends, pushing their kids in strollers, or taking their pets for a walk. There's just an unexplainable vibe you get when you are actually here.
People will push past you in those streets or accidentally bump into you without even considering an apology but if you need help or hit a language barrier, there is always someone within arms reach who will stop and help you without you even asking for it. Can you say any of the above things about America?
The truth is, I believe in Israel and what it stands for. I believe in the forward (or as some people call it: rude) nature of it's people because political correctness gets in the way of living our lives genuinely. I don't think Israelis are rude, I think they'd rather get to the point than play games to prevent someone's feelings from being hurt over minor things.
I think it's funny the way lines don't exist because honestly, if we all have a limited amount of time on this earth and only a small portion of that is free time we have to do what we enjoy, I don't want to waste any of that time standing in line. An Israeli may cut me in the line my American side still automatically makes from time-to-time, but that same Israeli would likely be late to wherever they're going to stop and help me if I need it. They won't even seem annoyed or come off as doing it because they're obligated, they do it because Israel is like a giant family that only functions if we all take care of each other.
I also love having my Jewishness built in to where I live rather than having to pick and choose like I always did in America. I grew up feeling not Jewish enough in the Jewish community but 'too Jewish' in the secular community and that is not an experience I feel comfortable forcing my future children to go through.
I believe in the safe haven Israel provides for Jews-a fact the rest of the world seems to think isn't necessary anymore which is insane since Antisemitism is up 40% worldwide. Do I feel unsafe as a Jew in America? Not at all. But anyone who knows me knows how PR minded I am and the best thing I can do for Israel's image and to bring people here who would never consider it otherwise, is to move here myself and demonstrate in the strongest way possible my faith in this country and it's importance.
I'm not blind to the issues that are ahead of me. Adjusting to the lower wages and the general expensiveness of living here, the seemingly illogical things that happen constantly here, the infuriating bureaucracy, coping with my future children one day serving in the army. I'm aware of all of it and I'm sure I'll become aware of even more obstacles in the future.
The crazy looks I get from Israelis is because they wonder how on earth I can sacrifice so much to be here. But other than the distance I've now put between my family and myself, what exactly am I sacrificing? Will my house be significantly smaller here than my house in America? Yes. Will I have a shittier car here one day than I would in America? Yes. Will I make less money here than I would in America? Yes. But Israel is not about any of those things. Israel is about overcoming all of those things. Those things aren't important to me. What's important to me is to have close-knit family values and happiness, that of my own and my future family.
And you know what? Israelis are happier than Americans. Despite everything it deals with, Israel was just ranked 11th in happiness while America is 17th. Look at the list (Here: http://www.businessinsider.com/new-world-happiness-report-2013-2013-9) and consider what Israel deals with and goes through compared to the countries that surround her on that list. That for me is the obvious sign that people are doing something right here.
And that is how I have made peace with making aliyah.
Time For A New Blog
The blog that I started last year was named and framed around the program I was on at the time. It slowly branched into some pro-Israel ramblings and call outs of the bias against Israel but now that I am officially an Israeli citizen, I felt it was time for a new blog.
This new blog will have posts about making Aliyah, the ups and the downs involved with such a decision,my experiences in Israel, as well as the type of posts that had become the norm on my old blog. However, I am making it a stated goal to work much harder at being more consistent when it comes to posting.
We'll see how it evolves over time but currently the goal is to sit down and write once a week or so, likely picking a theme or big story going around that week to focus on.
I currently have a post in the works about what making Aliyah means to me, it's just been tougher to write than I expected as I can't quite nail down which direction I'd like to take it. My goal is to have it finished and posted by tonight.
Wish me luck!
This new blog will have posts about making Aliyah, the ups and the downs involved with such a decision,my experiences in Israel, as well as the type of posts that had become the norm on my old blog. However, I am making it a stated goal to work much harder at being more consistent when it comes to posting.
We'll see how it evolves over time but currently the goal is to sit down and write once a week or so, likely picking a theme or big story going around that week to focus on.
I currently have a post in the works about what making Aliyah means to me, it's just been tougher to write than I expected as I can't quite nail down which direction I'd like to take it. My goal is to have it finished and posted by tonight.
Wish me luck!
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